chasingdreams

blah i need a rant

Thu, 09 Jun 2011 01:29:02 -0400

i often wonder why it is so hard to be happy. the thought is simple go and do things that you enjoy with people that you like, basically this last month and a half i completely changed my life. top to bottom. got rid of every single person that i knew didn’t treat me right. stopped smoking stopped drinking. started taking school seriously got my track to graduating. prayed for it all to be okay.met someone who treats me nicely, and i start finding out how actually fucked up i am. i hate that he wants me to to meet his mom. and she was great. it was just i like us having our seperate stuff i dont want him in my stuff whatsover. i like you not knowing my problems with drinking, fucking up school, and money. i dont want to talk about how ive been hurt. i dont want to talk about how much it kills me inside to see a man in myu past has moved on. even though the new guy treats me a ton better, i can’t seem to just let him. every thing is a fight. i dont want you to just take me as i am, because i cant give you all that i am. i dont want to. it makes me hate you how much you push me. it makes me hate you more how i know its not your fault at all. how i like to keep people at arms length. because everyone always leaves me. n because i ditched all my bad friends my new friends obviously dont know me so its so hard to talk to people that flat out dont get the things you do. different intrests and whatnot. theres one side of me thats so stellar, the part that makes you fall for me the girl thats fun confident sexy driven. and as you peel it back and theres a girl who hurts n is a glutton for punishement/abandoment.

my boyfriend....

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 19:09:36 -0400

okay so earlier today i was thinking about what i am really looking for in a mate and heres what i got, some of its just prefrences. whatever read if you want..

age 22-29

tall

has friends that invite me in their group from day one

likes the outdoors

smart

liking wings and crablegs is a plus

athletic to stocky body type

liking the jets, mets and islanders is a plus

is able to disconnect from his phone/ipod

works out twice a week

loves the beach, and can save me if i’m drowning

irish or italian is a plus

catholic/christian, is a believer and willing to be active in my churchyness

similar taste in movies

no criminal record please

has his own place is a plus

has a job

likes to eat

lives thirty minutes or less from my house

has a great sense of humor

has a car

doesn’t do drugs

has a highschool diploma or GED

has a good relationship with his family

loves dogs

lets me drive every now and then

isn’t divorced

likes to travel

liking sons of anarchy is a plus

drinks on occasion

dances at weddings

looking for a serious relationship

likes NYC

wants children

isn’t jealous

tattoos piercings gaunges are a plus

no super baggy pants

doesn’t overdo PDA

k, so if you know him give him my number

Meredith: Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 15:08:10 -0400

Meredith: Ask most people what they want out of life and the answer is simple - to be happy. Maybe it’s this expectation though of wanting to be happy that just keeps us from ever getting there. Maybe the more we try to will ourselves to state’s of bliss, the more confused we get - to the point where we don’t recognize ourselves. Instead we just keep smiling - trying to be the happy people we wish we were. Until it eventually hits us, it’s been there all along. Not in our dreams or our hopes but in the known, the comfortable, the familiar.

izzy and alex best scene(Grey’s anatomy season 6 sub ita)...

Mon, 04 Apr 2011 12:58:29 -0400

izzy and alex best scene(Grey’s anatomy season 6 sub ita) (by 89tino89)

agentasshole: HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THIS.

Sun, 03 Apr 2011 10:50:28 -0400

agentasshole:

HOW FUCKING AWESOME IS THIS.

love quotes from movies..

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 13:55:01 -0400

how lucky am i that i have something that makes saying goodbye so hard- Annie

if i tell you i love you can i keep you forever-casper

Don’t say we aren’t right for each other, the way i see it is.. we aren’t right for anyone else

—the cutting edge

There Are Millions Of People In This world, But In The end It All Comes Down To One

-Crazy/Beautiful

“I would rather fight with you than make love to anyone else.”
from the movie The Wedding Date

Some of the best things in life are total mistakes.”
from the movie, “Paycheck”

Do you know that place between being asleep and awake, where you still remember your dreams? Thats where I’ll always love, that’s where I’ll always wait for you.

- - Tinkerbell (Hook)

There’s three ways to do things, the right way, the wrong way and the way that I do it.

- Robert De Niro (Casino movie)

I couldn’t sleep last night because I know that it’s over between us. I’m not bitter any more, because I know that what we had was real. And if in some distant place in the future we see each other in our new lives, I’ll smile at you with joy and remember how we spent the summer beneath the trees, learning from each other and growing in love. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds, and that’s what you’ve given me

- Noah “The Notebook”

There is a place
You can touch a woman
That will drive her crazy.

Her heart.

- From “Milk Money”, starring Melanie Griffith

Kid, there are heroes and there are legends. Heroes get remembered, but legends never die

- Babe Ruth (The Sandlot

Lying is the most fun a girl can have without taking her clothes off

- Natalie Portman in Closer

Never tell me the odds.

- Han Solo from Star Wars

“I’m scared of everything. I’m scared of what I saw. I’m scared of what I did, of who I am. And most of all… I’m scared of walking out of this room and never feeling the rest of my whole life, the way I feel when I’m with you.”

- “Baby” Dirty Dancing

Photo

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:15:24 -0400

The Ataris - Your Boyfriend Sucks (ONLY MUSIC) (by psikooh)

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 12:08:10 -0400

The Ataris - Your Boyfriend Sucks (ONLY MUSIC) (by psikooh)

oh butterflies.

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 11:52:01 -0400

oh butterflies.

Parents,

Mon, 28 Mar 2011 11:51:05 -0400

you ask them a question - they don’t answer;

they ask you a question - you don’t answer;

Box Car Racer - There Is (via BoxCarRacerVEVO)

Tue, 15 Mar 2011 15:32:57 -0400

Box Car Racer - There Is (via BoxCarRacerVEVO)

Celebs without Makeup (via fhcarolien)

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 21:59:44 -0400

Celebs without Makeup (via fhcarolien)

Five Favorite Films with Katherine Heigl: Rotten Tomatoes Show...

Mon, 14 Mar 2011 21:34:38 -0400

Five Favorite Films with Katherine Heigl: Rotten Tomatoes Show (via Current)

Sayings To live By (via kwells1994)

Wed, 09 Mar 2011 17:37:52 -0500

Sayings To live By (via kwells1994)

paramore - hallelujah (acoustic) (via holdontowhatmatters)

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:29:44 -0500

paramore - hallelujah (acoustic) (via holdontowhatmatters)

close your eyes just settle.

Mon, 07 Mar 2011 17:15:38 -0500

hey you,

last night, i ended up just hanging with my brother, watching tv, eating pasta at an ungodly hour watching tv and passing out texting nicholas.

nicholas is going through a funk, because his sponser relasped. i’m being the supportive friend i am. which isn’t easy given our circumstance.

in a wierd day today. no alarms went off this morning slept until 1030.

almost forgot this lyric which is quite appropriate “I used to be love drunk, but now i’m hungover”. still missing him.

made eggs with onions mushrooms peppers for brunch w/ OJ.

called to make my appointment with my school advisor again, i’ll be going tuesday the 15th 10:00. which is good it’ll give me some kind of direction where my next moove with school will be.

talked to mercury about getting my money back, they moved my claim into phase 2. so i have a new rep named Randy (fm), who knows nothing about my case. which is fantastic.

talking to hxc will online which is funny.

listening to adaytoremember <3

my brother wants to be a vegan for lent, and i think he’s a total toolbox.

this friday is am!/dkm which is pretty exciting.

sucessfully had milk and cookies.

matty’s playing tonight at the trashbar, wish i could go.

got one smoke left in my pack. fifteen dollars to my name.

Advice of the day: keep it simple.

beautiful mistake

Sun, 06 Mar 2011 13:53:48 -0500

To whoever you are,

I’ve been thinking about how the body is made to be so powerful. it can be pushed to unbelievable extremes when the mind doesn’t give up.

there is such a strength in my brokeness this time i don’t know how much that makes sense.

i just am taking time to be alone and be jenn. sit and watch moveis { an education, and armegedeon yesterday} write out my feelings in witty lyrics and banter, clean god who knew i could even do that. last night i put my fancy contact paper on my tv stand, organized my books/dvds. hung up my coats, changed my sheets. small victories. do my broken heart rituals of too much salt, soda, beer ( if i can get my hands on it ) . working out, washing my face over and over again. falling in love with music the kind that hurts but feels so good to belt out and cry. which i must say the shower is the best place to cry. no one hears you and the hot water is soothing.

who knows where the heck this is going? where i’m going? i guess what counts right now is just to keep going.

have work soon. i don’t even care. it’ll get me out of the house for a bit. my finances are enough to hang yourself. so atleast showing up to work should provide some comfort. short shift.

i can’t believe the jersey shore is ending, wtf am i supposed to watch now? Honestly.

Advice of the day: there is no need to play it cool. you are cool enough.

Love Messy Winslet.

hmm

Thu, 03 Mar 2011 11:24:31 -0500

it’ll get easier every day is what i promise myself. still optimistic. yet lacking the motive to move from the computer today.

But i have to considering yesterday i just wrote, ate, watched tv in my pajamas.

heres what i’m thinking…

kristin cavalleri is beautiful. bitchyness.

who is the guy that doesn’t use his blinker? and am i friends with him?

when will i grow out of my rockstar phase?

no girl seriously obesses over their hair as much as i do.

fresh air will do me good, whether i want to move or not it will help clear my mind and give me more inspiration for writing.

spanish class eh? but i have to..

i am single. again. but, i’ll be okay.

don’t start to doubt yourself. you’ve done things for a reason. and if you went back, you think it would be different, but it wouldn’t.

this is goodbye. did you make that last kiss count?

Wed, 02 Mar 2011 11:38:20 -0500

seeing him again may have been my wakeup call to life. because i can’t stress enough this feeling i have that i’ve woken up from the dead. there are things that people say that are supposed to help you with your daily day to day crisis that arent helpful “one day at a time”. i’m not here to give you that, i’m here to say we’re all in crisis and what is absolutely beautiful is the people who see you in it and never give up on you. i don’t care that i have only two readers. but if you were a stranger and felt like you had nothing you’d have me. i’m finding out so much about myself and heres whats real. love. and i have so much of it in my heart right now. so heres my best advice:

don’t measure yourself up to other peoples sucess your not them. you could never be them. your you. and thats a blessing. if your living your life upset, your wasting it. you are only young and beautiful once. this lifetime, is full of oppurtunity.

opputunity where you fail and are hurt. and when your on the top of the world. i would never sit here and say i wanna fail and i wanna hurt but his hurt has made me this way.

heres the letter you’ll never get.

dear you,

we are amazing together, it is amazing to escape my life and get on a train and be happy. you are everything i want. you are smart sexy funny. and in my writing you’ll find that our love lives on. but we can’t do this, we’re unavalible to eachother. not some it might work fantasy like it can’t happen. and its kills me. it kills me that you don’t wanna speak to me. your afraid to get hurt, and so you hurt me. i just want you to know, that as i give you what you want i wish that there was another way. our paths won’t cross again, not like they do in the movies when one day i’m folding laundry at the laundermat and your just there and its easy now and it’ll work. that’s not in the cards, but somehow i’m okay. because when i woke up today i knew it was over. and yes theres scars. there may always be scars. but you woke me up. to my life. and i love you for it so much. (i’m crying). if you think now i’m some crazy girl. your right. i make no apologies. i know someday this will be a distant memory, and we will be old and happy with great people. but young love, shakes you. and its been a pleasure shaking with you. you’ll erasing me, the eternal sunshine, i will always be your messy winslet.

chase your dreams, me.

As you sleep - Something Corporate (via SsjVejita)

Mon, 28 Feb 2011 23:10:57 -0500

As you sleep - Something Corporate (via SsjVejita)